Why I'm Looking Forward to The Veronica Mars Movie

The original cast shot a movie this summer, six years after the television series was cancelled.

Here's why I care:

1.  Veronica, herself:  She's such a smart, funny, badass female character, played with charm and nuance by Kristen Bell.  Plenty of smart, funny, badass females exist in the world, but we're totally under-represented in mass media.  (ha!)

2.  The production:  The upcoming movie was funded entirely by fans through Kickstarter, and set a record for the largest amount of money raised in the shortest amount of time for a film project.   Is this is a spark of hope that discriminating audiences may soon have more of a say in what their entertainment options are?  That would be a significant triumph in the eternal battle between art and commerce.  If Twitter is the democratization of news, Kickstarter might be the democratization of culture.

3.  The strength of the series:  The writing, dark humor, and character development on the show are kickass.  You're instantly drawn into the wacky, gritty world of Neptune, California with its dirty secrets and its simmering tensions between ethnic groups and economic classes.  In the wake of widespread economic recession, the Occupy movement, and the high-profile Trayvon Martin murder case, these issues seem just as simmering and relevant now as ever.  The 'have-nots' can't escape the constant reminders that life surely isn't fair, and must work much harder (Veronica) or turn to crime (Eli) to cultivate opportunities.  Alternatively, the 'haves' enjoy privilege through no achievement of their own, which can lead to ennui or identity crisis - a struggle to step out from under their parents' long shadows (Duncan), and maybe the frightening realization that status does not ascribe meaning (Logan).  All sides naturally feel threatened by, and express disdain for the others.  And of course, rounding things out, we've got the smart (Mac), the sweet (Wallace), the comically ditzy (Dick), the psychotic (Aaron), the lazy (Don), the wise (Keith), and the delightfully sleazy (Vinnie).  (No, they're not Disney Dwarves.  ha ha!)  Basically, the writers skillfully illustrate that everyone's coming from somewhere.  And when it's very different from what you're used to, it's easy to be suspicious and make snap judgments... 

The characters and the mysteries have many layers, but the continuity rocks.  I think it's a testament to the writing and acting that the show can stay fresh through its dramatic plot twists, without resorting to inauthentic emotions, or implausible mysteries.  (When Veronica investigates cases, she often has to briefly assume some sort of alternate identity.   So you get some of the fun of that kind of device (like on say, Alias), but the episodic cases are more richly developed and require less of a suspension of disbelief.  I think it's a strength of the show that you really could imagine the cases she investigates happening to your friends and neighbours.)  In some ways it's quite ambitious - attempting comedy, drama, mystery, romance, and action.   (Yes, there are plenty of fight scenes.)   Plus, the noir mood gives it more texture than many of its contemporaries (like, say, The O.C.).  It manages to successfully mashup a sarcastic, modern vibe with a throwback, hard-boiled Dashiell Hammett/Raymond Chandler vibe.  Overall, the best thing about the show is the tone - despite its dark themes, it somehow never seems to take itself too seriously.  The jokes are bawdy and the repartée is deliciously witty.  I don't know if Mr. Joss Whedon (king of snappy dialogue) is an influence, but he does make a brief appearance in the series...

Technology, with its positive and negative contributions to society, is almost a character in the series as well.  One thing has changed, though... I used to find it slightly far fetched that Veronica had a password to a web portal that could identify people by seemingly random details about them... because it would have to be linked to such a large aggregate of databases.  Er, unfortunately, I no longer feel that way.  (Hello, PRISM!)

4.  The unresolved relationship between Veronica Mars and Logan Echolls:  After three seasons, the series got cancelled and viewers were left in limbo.

Logan and Veronica start the series as antagonists.  They represent two of the opposing factions - he comes from wealth, fame, and privilege, and she comes from working class infamy.  His dad's a movie star, her private investigator father has just been disgraced and removed from his sheriff position - and at first glance they appear to be opposites.  But this is not your typical stock "opposites attract" plot.  As they get to know each other (and as we get to know them) it becomes clear that they have a dark history, and a surprising amount in common.    Both are cursed with blessed with razor sharp intelligence, curiosity, and a near-constant drive for honesty about issues that many in their lives and community prefer not to face.  These qualities manifest in near-obsessive detective digging from Veronica, and in smart-ass, aggressive boundary-pushing from Logan.  Their characters are conflicted, morally ambiguous, and complex - neither are above using other people to meet their needs, but both also demonstrate a surprising capacity for loyalty.  

And when these two smart-alecks interact, sparks fly - sometimes positively, and sometimes negatively.  They have crazy chemistry!  (Word is that the characters were originally intended to remain enemies, but the chemistry between actors Kristen Bell and Jason Dohring led to plot revisions.  It's the viewers' good fortune that the writers recognized what they had and capitalized on it.)   Fans love their chemistry and also obviously identify with the show's truth that being an intelligent, honest, passionate person in the world young adult in high school & college can in itself be a recipe for pain.  

Pain is of course one of the things Logan and Veronica share.  They're both highly self-reliant, in part because of their self-absorbed, negligent mothers.  Consequently both end up feeling abandoned, but without the true closure and freedom to grieve that normally accompany the death of a parent.  Both are more impacted by their fathers' life choices than your average student.  And both have lost friends to murder, have had their hearts broken, and their young lives violently threatened.  Through his family, and through her work, they have both seen enough of the worst of people to prematurely age and jade them.  Perhaps because of this, both also have an underlying intensity that doesn't allow them to chill out and just be kids.  Recognizing this in each other is certainly one source of the magnetic attraction between them. 

Veronica's charm comes from the three R's: her resourcefulness, relatability, and resilience.  What Dashiell Hammett might've called "pluck".   It's awesome to have a female character that demonstrates such initiative and confidence.  And there's genuine compassion and generosity in her efforts to help others (with each detective case that she manages to juggle alongside classes and a part-time job).  But there's another reason she does it: to comfort herself by feeling that she can restore some sense of order and justice to her world.  It's like she's compelled to run straight at what she's afraid of, often putting herself in harm's way in the process, in order to keep her fears at bay.  In those dramatic moments she gives me a bit of a Clarice Starling vibe. 

Though he's shockingly rude at times, Logan is riveting because he always tells the truth.  Veronica's sarcastic quips are funny, but Logan's knack for pushing people's buttons is downright hilarious.  (ie: "How much easier would your life be if you were indifferent to me?")  He can be unnerving or even plain mean, but there's plenty of insight and self-flagellation going on as well.  At times he's like a younger, more-redeemable Gregory House.  Aside from his casual frankness, Logan's appeal comes from his smoldering, accessible form of brooding, and from his surprising vulnerability.  His charm increases with his demonstrated ability to grow in response to Veronica's kindness, and his development of chivalrous, protective instincts toward her.  His character progresses in depth in a really authentic arc that's so much more interesting to watch than if he had started out good, or remained evil.  

We were left at just that crossroad when the series ended.  The societal forces pulling our heroes apart pale in comparison to the internal forces (pride, fear, desire for vengeance) that Veronica and Logan are grappling with.  It's much more interesting and relatable to watch a couple struggle with character and ego and trust, rather than just external circumstance, as we often see on TV.  Viewers can enjoy the show on both levels - as simple pulpy entertainment, or as a philosophical study in questions of identity and control...  How much control do we really have (or need) over the events that shape our lives?  What coping mechanisms do we rely on to manage uncertainty?  She soothes her gnawing doubts with (metaphorical) scab-picking and indulges in illusions of control by taking charge with a white-knuckle vigilance, and a reckless amount of bravado.  He goes the other way, and embraces anarchy and fatalism, attempting to numb his loneliness and doubt with less noble reckless indulgences.  (Think fisticuffs and floozies.)  She appears to believe that her relentless methods are just exposing truth.   But what he seems to recognize better than she does, is that you alter anything by interacting with it.

Relationships like Veronica & Logan's are the reason Facebook's "it's complicated" status was invented.   Will these two misanthropes-in-the-making ever admit that they are secretly idealists, and find the courage to risk the vulnerability required to actively pursue love and happiness?  Having lived through such trying circumstances, are they even capable of recognizing happiness?  Chaos has almost become their "normal" - would greater stability seem boring by comparison?  Though they're both survivors - each, in his or her own way, veers across the line toward self-destruction through their (sometimes misguided) efforts at self-preservation.   Surely we can all recognize something of ourselves in that.  

Watching them is cathartic, as their adventures really are pretty "epic."  (The word a drunk Logan uses to describe their relationship in Season 2, Episode 20.)

As in this clip, each also bravely sets aside their ego for the other, on occasion.  But the timing of those occasions doesn't often align.  (Think 'Pride and Prejudice' rather than 'Romeo and Juliet'.)  And because of the intensity of the feelings involved, any emotional risk that ends badly results in humiliation.  A viewer is left wondering what they might achieve if only they could build enough trust to stop using up all of their energy just dancing around each other.  Will these two crazy kids ever get over themselves long enough to connect to each other's humanity?  Or will their personal coping mechanisms form the walls that keep them apart?

Their experiences bind them, almost like they've been through a war together.  And this sense of 'intertwined fates' is what makes viewers crave more resolution with respect to their relationship.  But being truly understood by another person can be both comforting and intimidating.  They challenge each other in a way that's invigorating, but also exhausting.  Does this mean they're better off together or apart?  Can they find their equilibrium?  I, for one, am interested to find out.  I'm pulling for them!  But either way, I love that theirs is an intense, roller-coaster of a dance, infused with poignance and crackling with chemistry. 

...

Creator Rob Thomas (no, not that Rob Thomas) really got it right with the series - every little detail is tight and the cast really gels - and that doesn't happen by accident.  I trust that he can do it again with the same players in the film.  And how fitting is it that they found an innovative way to use technology to collaborate with fans to make the movie happen?  Interestingly, with respect to Hollywood, I find it's sometimes the restrictions of a low budget that necessitate the creativity required to make a passion project that resonates.  I join close to 100,000 Kickstarter backers in hoping that's the case with this one.  Until then, seems like a good time to show the series some love on DVD.

(I don't own any of the clips - copyright belongs to their respective owners.)

The Truth About Healing and Loss

I really dislike it when people say, "Everything happens for a reason."
They're usually trying to be profound (or smug, or lazy), but that's like saying, "Everything is composed of matter."
So what?!  How is that supposed to be of any real comfort or significance at this moment?

When someone says that, all I hear is a less honest variation of, "I have no idea what the possible explanation could be for why this happened."  And also possibly, "I'm actually just comforting myself that this recent traumatic event is not a sign that life is more unpredictable than I would like to admit.  So let's turn off our brains now, as insurance."  Or maybe even, "You must somehow deserve whatever happened."

My intention is not to be negative or fatalistic - it's simply to be realistic, awake.  Because life is unpredictable and unfair, so pretending it's not seems like ignoring half of what the experience of living is about!  Like walking through life without peripheral vision, or something... wouldn't you miss a lot?  A dismissive, "Everything happens for a reason," seems to chalk adversity up to some whim of the gods that we don't need to concern our little selves about.  It absolves us of any responsibility (or opportunity) to recognize the significance of this experience for ourselves, personally.

No, we can't necessarily divine the cause of any particular event, but we do have the opportunity to choose to define what it means for us.  And if we don't do that, we're just sleepwalking, aren't we? Nobody wants to experience pain, but we know that from time to time it's unavoidable.  So if, from time to time, experiencing pain is part of what it means to be alive - why not try to get something out of it? Because, dammit, if I have to suffer, I might as well look for some kind of bloody value in the experience...

I vastly prefer how the heroic Augusten Burroughs looks at it.
His wise words (possibly because they are hard-won?) really are comforting.
[Emphasis mine.]


"Heal is a television word.
It's satisfying to see somebody who has gone through adversity and come out the other side, healed.
That's almost word for word, how they might introduce a segment on healing on a talk show. 'Come out the other side.'  Like a tunnel.

But here's the thing: there are some things in life from which you do not heal.
The tunnel never ends.  There is no other side of it.

...

This is among the oldest, deepest, most primal truths: the facts of life may be, at times, unbearably painful.  But the core, the bones of life are generous beyond all reason or belief. Those things that ought to kill us do not.  This should be taken as encouragement to continue.

...

Because all of us are made not only of what we have but of what we lost.

And loss is not a subtraction.  As an experience, it is an addition.

Even when we lose a leg or an arm, there's not less of us but more.  Human experience weighs more than human tissue."

- Augusten Burroughs / 'How to Be'

Craig Cutler

Si vous demandez à une femme, "Comment vas-tu?"

Elle dira, "Triste à propos de x, heureux à propos de y, et un peu frustré à propos de z. Comment vas-tu?"

Si vous demandez à un homme, "Comment vas-tu?" 

Il dira, "Soif."

"I think acting is about forgetting yourself in order to give the best of yourself. It's passing through you more than you're creating it. You're not the flower, but the vase which holds the flower." 
- Juliette Binoche

Christian Kettiger

I think this insightful quote applies just as accurately to life as to acting...  My friend B and I had this conversation once about how we screw things up when we care about them too much.  It's cringe-worthy and funny, 'cuz it's true.  I think there's definite credence to the notion that self-consciousness infects the purity of the creative process, or even the natural fluidity of relationships.  I myself am certainly most poised, most zen, when my focus is entirely on an activity or another person.  When self awareness creeps in, part of your attention naturally splits off, and then your focus/poise/creativity (whatever you want to call it) fragments, and your ability be a vessel for greatness is radically diminished. 

I've mentioned photographer Christian Kettiger's great work before here.

“It's much easier to not know things sometimes. Things change and friends leave. And life doesn't stop for anybody.  

...Maybe it's good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. Because it's okay to feel things. I was really there. And that was enough...” 

-Stephen Chbosky

Lessons from a Friend

"A friend who dies, it's something of you who dies..."
- Gustav Flaubert

Jenna Adams

I just lost a dear friend.  And Flaubert's was the quote that most closely expressed how I feel.  It seems unjust for his life to end so young, there's just no making sense of it.  My heart hurts for his family.  I still can't truly reconcile it - the idea that he's no longer physically here with us; that our wish for longer with him can't make it so.

He was warm, protective, smart, and really generous - with a hilariously dark sense of humour.  He somehow managed to be silly and quietly dignified at the same time.  Our friendship got off to an amusing start when we met at a party where (after a few drinks) I accidentally tried to introduce him to his sister.  He was one of those rare souls with whom you could have fun while doing absolutely nothing.  I felt understood by him, and it's very hard to accept that he is gone.

As soon as he told me his diagnosis (esophageal cancer), it seemed like I instantly knew his time was very short (because deep down he knew, I think), but it's still hard to believe it could happen this quickly.  It was a beautiful sunny morning a week ago when the news came that he had died - the last day of summer, in fact.  For a second the cheery weather seemed at odds with the knot of grief in my throat.  But after I cried for a few minutes, I had the sensation that the weather was warm... like him.  I had a little thought, like, "Maybe his spirit is in the sunbeams now?" and that seemed fitting.

His self-deprecating sense of humour was still present in his emails from the hospital at the beginning of summer when he first received his diagnosis - he said, "...as you can tell there is plenty of feeling sorry for myself, but the idea will be that if my time is limited to enjoy it as much as I can."  

And...

"I'm not a maudlin person, but sometimes you have to let go.  I just want you to know how important you've been to me, I've enjoyed every moment I've spent with you."

Those words of his are a gift, and I want to keep them in mind, and honour them moving forward.
And think happily of the memories...

So, I've been thinking...  Platitudes like "everything happens for a reason" don't seem comforting, they seem vague and reductive and trite.  I don't know if I'll ever see a reason for Steve to suffer and leave us so young.  Instead, I prefer the matter-of-fact way that novelist Kurt Vonnegut describes the difficult things we mortals wrestle with.  He doesn't try to explain the inexplicable, he simply says, "...And so it goes." (Slaughterhouse-Five)  That feels more right to me.  Sometimes being alive means hurting an awful lot, and there's just no pretty way of saying it.

But... my friend was brave.  So I will try to be, too.  Rather than be maudlin, I can try to think about the last lessons he leaves with me...  

And I guess it's this:  for all of us, our time is limited.  We don't know what that limit is, but we do know our time on this Earthly playground is finite.  I don't want to lose focus on what really matters - which is, in fact, very little.  Our relationships with other people are important, and not a lot else.  Not our egos, or our reputations, or our accomplishments.  I want to try to do right by the people and situations that are entrusted to my temporary care, and to try to leave more of a positive trail than a negative one in my wake.  When dealing with people, I will ask myself, as Suze Orman suggests, not only 'is it true?', but also 'is it kind?', and 'is it necessary?'

There's no making sense of his passing.  But I can accept that a lot of things are out of my control, and moving forward, I will try to sweat them far, far less...

And of those things that are in my control, my goal will be simply to leave anything in at least as good a condition as I inherited it.  To realize that whatever small gifts or talents I have are not mine, but mine to share.
Most of all, I want to savour the present moment and have more fun with it.  I want to really suck the juice out of this lemon while I can - and then leave with no regrets.

Jenna Adams

I can aim for less anxiety and distraction and fear, and more curiosity and engagement and kindness. And I intend to keep laughing.  A lot.  Laughter is like a little portal to heaven, where my friend doesn't seem so far away.

On that note, this traditional Scottish & Irish folk song sung by Ed Sheeran feels like a suitable tribute...  (An early version of the poem is sometimes attributed to Sir Alex Boswell.)

The Parting Glass 

Of all the money that e'er I had
I've spent it in good company
And all the harm that e'er I've done
Alas it was to none but me
And all I've done for want of wit
To memory now I can't recall
So fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be with you all

Of all the comrades that e'er I had
They are sorry for my going away
And all the sweethearts that e'er I had
They would wish me one more day to stay
But since it falls unto my lot
That I should rise and you should not
I'll gently rise and I'll softly call
Good night and joy be with you all

A man may drink and not be drunk
A man may fight and not be slain
A man may court a pretty girl
And perhaps be welcomed back again
But since it has so ordered been
By a time to rise and a time to fall
Come fill to me the parting glass
Goodnight and joy be with you all
Goodnight and joy be with you all

Jenna Adams

Cheers to you, Steve.  You were important to me too.

"What we have once enjoyed, we can never lose.  All that we love deeply becomes a part of us."
- Helen Keller

City Mouse & Country Mouse

How do you define luxury?  Or quality of life?

I've been under a greater than average amount of stress of late (people I love being diagnosed with cancer, etc), so of course my body eventually caved, and I got sick.  You know, the attractive throbbing-earache, shivering-fever, no-sense-of-smell-or-taste, lose-your-voice kind of sick, that involves bizarre amounts of phlegm?  One of my besties was going away for a trip recently, so she suggested that I come stay at her place for the weekend to recover.  She thought her home would be more restful for me - that it might be like a mini getaway, without even leaving the city.

Turns out, not only is she thoughtful and sweet, she was also right...

Art by Scott Gustafson - see more here

I've lived my whole life in different cities - some (like Mexico City) larger than others.  I travel reasonably often, and I currently inhabit a modern condo in a fun neighbourhood downtown.  I'm within stumbling distance of a great selection of restaurants, pubs, theatres, and shops, and I enjoy that.  I have no maintenance issues.  My work commute is short.  I can't avoid being aware of which bands are coming to town, which exhibitions are showing, and which new restaurants just opened.  It would take me literally three minutes to step out and pick up an Italian espresso, a bouquet of flowers, a British fashion magazine, a Hungarian salami, a Greek spanikopita, a French cheese, or the latest Scandi home accessory.  (Or... twenty-one minutes to pick up all seven?)  I have a double jetted bathtub in my walk-in bedroom closet, which is a lovely place to relax with a glass of wine after an evening out.  I feel like all of that represents a level of luxury that I never take for granted.  (Especially in the current global economic climate.)  It's easy to run out and meet anyone for a coffee or a pint at a moment's notice.  I have friends in the suburbs, who say that people aren't always willing to come all the way out to visit them - especially in winter.  But... I barbeque on a patio, not in a yard.  I have ten plants, and a fig tree in a pot.  The amount I can save on gas is surely immediately offset by the high cost of prime real estate location.  It's never truly quiet at night on the weekends.  I can see the moon at night, but the stars... not so much.

My friend grew up on a farm, and has an amazing green thumb.  She has seven plants in her kitchen. She knows a lot about fertilizer, and is the proud owner of a wheelbarrow.  Her house is older, and she's had to deal with some unpleasant (ie: expensive) renos involving wiring, plumbing, and structural support.  Her house has some quirks - she can't plug in more than two electric items in her bedroom without blowing a fuse.  But she lives in a pretty, residential neighbourhood on a hill, across from a park.  Along with her flowers, vegetables, and several giant trees, she has a gazebo, a fire pit, a greenhouse, benches, a pond, a hammock, a waterfall, and, of course, a bridge to walk over the pond in her beautifully landscaped little piece of nature.  At night it is quiet and dark, and you can see all the stars.  (From the back yard, the kitchen skylight, or the bedroom balcony - take your pick.)  It's stunning, but has been constant work and expense for her to achieve and maintain.  I think I finally get why she complains about squirrels.

Waking up to a morning coffee with that view, would definitely give me a shot of serenity that I could hold onto, regardless of what the day might have in store.  In addition, relaxing with your glass of wine beside your own flowers, under the stars, listening to the gentle splash of the waterfall would also be a lovely way to decompress in the evening.  It represents a totally different variety of luxury.

So which is better?  I honestly don't know...  Even if I could devise an equation involving amount of serenity, divided by time and responsibility and expense, and multiplied by accessibility to resources, the answer would still be different for everyone.  Is it more about where you are, what you do, or who you're with?  Do you spend long hours in an office to support your quality of life, or on your hands and knees in the dirt?  Or does quality of life for you mean having to do neither?

...All I can say with any certainty is that a large percentage of happiness is appreciating what you have.  And if you're lucky enough to have generous friends, you might even get to share the best of both worlds. ;)

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness."
- Mark Twain

in 1906, photo by A.F. Bradley

"Half the fun of travel is the aesthetic of lostness." 
- Ray Bradbury

"About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm."
-Kurt Vonnegut

Israel Shenker/New York Times Co./Getty Images

There's my man, Kurt Vonnegut, once again telling it just like it is...

Underneath We're All The Same

via cryhavok.org

"If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day." 

- John A Wheeler

"We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity."

- Paulo Coelho

"We work in the dark - we do what we can - we give what we have. Our doubt is our passion and our passion is our task. The rest is the madness of art." 

- Henry James

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. 

Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. 

The world you desire can be won. It exists... it is real... it is possible... it’s yours."

- Ayn Rand

I'm smitten: illustrator Wendy MacNaughton

Wendy MacNaughton's unpretentious art really serves to illustrate (ha!) how simple can be evocative and beautiful.  Amazing - how can she possibly sum up the way I want to approach life in a simple line drawing?  It's not just her art I admire - it's her direct style, her succinctness that comes through in everything she touches.  It seems like she knows the shortest path to making you laugh or cry (or a complicated mix of the two).  I have a feeling that's because she does... she's tapped in to the truth,  and the truth often elicits a visceral response.

In my own life, I'm always trying to see through the haze to the meaningful heart of things.  I don't expect smooth sailing, but I hope for clear vision.  I try to resist all the dazzling bullshit that bombards us on a daily basis, and keeps us disempowered.  Life's short - I want to really see what's going on around me, I don't want to spend it inadvertently distracted from the simple things that really matter.  I love Ms. MacNaughton's low-tech approach to art because it gives such a playful feeling of intimacy and spontaneity, but the deeper philosophical messages in it remind me to trust my instincts and refine my priorities.


For an article on the plight of Haiti:

The aptly titled Longshot Treasure Hunt:

all art by Wendy MacNaughton

See more unpretentious Wendy genius here.

Ideologies: Part 2

I've never found a quote that expresses my feelings about tolerance & personal liberty better than this one.  But as soon as I share it, it's interesting how polarizing a quote on tolerance can become...

"Why not let people differ about their answers to the great mysteries of the Universe? Let each seek one's own way to the highest, to one's own sense of supreme loyalty in life, one's ideal of life. Let each philosophy, each world-view bring forth its truth and beauty to a larger perspective, that people may grow in vision, stature and dedication.

The religions of humanity should be a unifying force, for all the great religions reveal a basic unity in ethics. Whether it be Judaism, Catholicism, Protestantism, Buddhism or Confucianism, all grow out of a sense of the sacredness of human life. This moral sensitivity to the sacredness of human personality -- the Commandments not to kill, not to hurt, not to put a stumbling block in the path of the blind, not to neglect the widow or the fatherless, not to exploit the servant or the worker -- all this can be found in the bibles of humanity, in all the sacred books. All teach in substance: "Do unto others as you would that others should do unto you." There is, then, a basic unity among the great religions in the matter of ethics. 

True, there are religious philosophies which turn people away from the world, from the here and now, concentrating life-purposes on salvation for one's self or a mystic union with some supernatural reality. But most of the great religions agree on mercy, justice, love -- here on earth.

And they agree that the great task is to move people from apathy, from an acceptance of the evils in life, to face the possibilities of the world, to make life sweet for one another instead of bitter. This is the unifying ethical task of all the religions -- yes, of all the philosophies of humankind. There is no need to force our own theological points of view upon one another or to insist that the moral life grows out of final, absolute authority."

- Algernon Black
  

The way I see it, religion, philosophy, politics - any filter, really - can be a great lens through which to view the world.  As long as you recognize that the lens itself is also coming between you and the world.  

It's my personal conviction that only you know through which lens you can finally see most clearly...  I'm talking about the acceptance that not everybody wears (or should wear) the same prescription.  

In response to that, a friend said, "But then the problem arises of one personal truth in conflict with another's personal truth.  Whose personal truth trumps the other's?"  

My response:  is assuming the difference is a threat our only option?  The key word here is "personal."  I honestly don't see the need for a trump.  That's like arguing that blue is a better colour than red...  Who presumes to have the authority to declare a winner?  Can't we coexist peacefully even if you love red and I love blue?  Does someone else have to lose in order for us to feel like we win?  Something about the lack of empathy in that concept just makes me uneasy inside.  For me, it's precisely this delicate balance of similarities and differences that makes the human condition so beautiful and intriguing and baffling.  It's free will, mate.  It's what makes life so textured and rich and invigorating.

There was a bit of discussion that people from other religions/cultures should be regarded with some suspicion, because they sometimes have unfamiliar practices - cutting themselves to release evil spirits, was one example given.  But honestly I think people here can hurt and mutilate themselves to try and exorcise personal demons just as much - only they call it something more "elegant", like: anorexia or plastic surgery or meth addiction.  No matter what you want to name it, I'm guessing that troubled souls can be found any place on earth that humans congregate.  

What drives this insistence that we should be policing one another, should all be clones of 

each other?  Or that we need an external absolute authority, instead of each being our own best authorities?  I've puzzled about it, and the only answer I can ever come up with is: fear.

Seems, as with most things, whatever you're looking for will stand out to you...

If you're looking for differences, you can find them. If you're looking for similarities, you can find them too.

Even in the presence of multiple differences, there is common ground, there are human relating points, ways "to make life sweet for one another instead of bitter", if you genuinely want to see them.  And I want so passionately for each person to have the right to do their own looking and finding.  I'll just say that I often run into surprising arrogance from folks who wouldn't dream of assimilating others' points of view the way they expect others to assimilate theirs.  I guess that's the truly puzzling part for me - really how can you think you have the right to expect anything other than exactly what you're willing to give in this life?

Where does this discomfort with differences in others come from?  I'm guessing it's the notion that our particular beliefs are objective, transferrable fact - when really our beliefs are our own (or someone else's) subjective constructs that we have elected to accept.  These choices and the resulting constructs become our truth.  We choose to have faith, hope, apathy, or cynicism because it's serving a purpose for us.  And for most of us that purpose falls somewhere on a sliding continuum between present and future, or altruism and selfishness. 

Picture several thousand people attending a big concert in an arena...  Now choose ten random people distributed in different locations throughout the audience, looking at the stage from their different seats.  Some are centre, some are aisle.  Some are down in the front row, some are all the way up in the nosebleeds.  Each person will have a different sightline or perspective based on the variations in light, shadow, distance,  and obstruction from their respective location.  Bottom line: if you took a photo of the band on stage from each individual spot, none of the photos would look the same...  But these variations don't make one perspective any less true than the other.  It is, instead, the truth from that angle.  

In my humble opinion (and I know some, maybe even a lot of people won't agree), the ability to appreciate tolerance and empathy in this way has more to do with the person themselves, than with their respective religion.  
Call me crazy, but I think it's naïve to believe that we all can sit in the same exact concert seat.  I'd even go as far as saying I'm glad we don't.  Half the fun of the experience is sharing it with everyone around me.